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Housing Update

May 24th, 2008 at 09:57 am

My ex went to settlement to refinance for the buy out and on Thursday, May 29, I can pick up my check and LOL his check. Some things never change. I called to ask if the settlement had actually happened and he said "Yes, and when you get your check would you pick up mine and give it to me later? No sense in us both driving over there." I'm surprised he didn't ask me to stop by his bank and deposit it for him also. We both still bank at the same bank. Good thing he doesn't read this blog or he would ask me. I don't mind picking up the check, but the sad thing is he would never do the same for me. Such is life, there are givers and takers. I had become so conditioned to giving and trying to make things right for him that when he would call me at work wanting something, my co-workers would mouth or say "stop giving", it was a reminder that I'm not married to him anymore and that I need to protect and look after my own interests as they are no longer the same as his.

Habits are hard to break.

Next week, I have to take my name off the electric bill, cancel cable, cancel vonage, and pack the kitchen up. My apartment will not be ready until after June 14. I also have to decide what to do with the money from settlement. I think I will leave it in money market accounts until sometime in July. There is to much going on to make any decisions right now.

To top it off I have picked up bronchitis and some kind of viral asthma. I can't breathe in and I can't breathe out. Very inconvenient and sometimes scary. My mom says its the result of stress and she is probably right. The doctor gave me an albuterol inhaler but it was only working for 2-2.5 hrs so the doctor put me on prednisone also. Of course, as soon as I feel the medicine working I pack a box or two and then I am exhausted and rest for an hour or so, only to do it all over again after resting. Stupid, considering my family has offered to come over and pack for me. I guess I just feel they are already doing so much for me.

I am blessed with the best, most supportive family in the world.

3 Responses to “Housing Update”

  1. Thrifty Ray Says:

    Old habits are hard to break..especially if you are a giver. Just be sure to take care of yourself first. You are under much stress and are realizing it with your medical issues. remember- One bite at a time.

    I think you are wise to put the settlement in something safe while you think about what to do. If your overall goal is retirement, the settlement is a means of helping you get there...

    Hugs as you work it all out...

  2. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    It doesn't seem like the lender would even give you a check made out to someone else.

    That is funny about your ex-husband asking you to spare him the drive over there. It reminds me of the stories of ghosts who supposedly haven't caught on to the fact that they are dead and they just keep on doing the same things they been doing--heading up the stairs every 10:30 p.m. after watching the news. Walking the hallway to go make sure the babies are okay. Only your ex-husband doesn't know he's divorced and just keeps haunting you the same every day habitual ways, eternally asking you to do things for him.

    Ask him if he has ever heard the line, "I need my space." Tell him that is your motto for the next ten years.

  3. klbb90 Says:

    He told me that he gave the lawyer permission to give me the check before he even asked me if I would get it for him. LOL If the lawyer tells me no, then oh well, not my problem.

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