Should I collect money owed to me by my 17 year old? My son has owes me alot of money. Well alot to my way of thinking. About $3,000 It breaks down this way:
900 car insurance
550 cell phone overages
130 medical
600 tires
240 car repairs
600-900 damage to the truck
Everything but the damage to the truck and medical are expenses he had agreed to pay previously.
I want him to pay the medical because it was due to his negligence and disobedience. He wears contacts and even after repeated reminders and requests to takes them out at night, he doesn't and he wears them longer during the day than he should. So when we went to eye doctor because he thought he needed stronger lens, the doctor told him his prescription is fine its the way he is wearing his contacts. I feel he will learn the lesson better if he has to pay for this mistake.
The reason he is to pay for the truck is his attitude toward the damage he did. You don't damage someones vehicle and expect no consequences. If I thought he felt bad about the damage or he had offered to pay for it, I would have given him a pass on the repairs. So once again, many folks only learn from the pain of paying for their mistakes.
He only attends high school 1/2 day and the agreement was that if he didn't participate in any high school activities he would get a job for the other 1/2 of the day. If he was active at school I would pay his car insurance and entertainment expenses. He has only worked as a day labor worker for neighbors on a very part time basis. He has only made half hearted attempts to find a job saying "its my senior year why should I work?" My response is that this is what was agreed to at the beginning of the year. I don't believe teens should just lay around the house and to much time on their hands invites trouble.
The money is available in an investment account, so I'm seriously considering taking it out to pay these debts. My mother said I should definitely do it as it is the only way people learn.
I live in a wealthy area, although I am not wealthy. Alot(most) of the parents around me would just write it off. I feel pressure in both directions. I really feel he should pay. I know that even to this day I learn best when I pay. Should I pay for his mistakes and choices? Or should he?
Should I ....
May 16th, 2008 at 02:23 am
May 16th, 2008 at 02:44 am 1210905853
I think he should have to pay, but since he is 17 you might sit down and discuss a plan for repayment. One debt at a time, or a fixed monthly payment. How do you think he'll take the news? Will he really pay and what is the consequence if he doesn't?
May 16th, 2008 at 02:55 am 1210906516
May 16th, 2008 at 03:30 am 1210908659
May 16th, 2008 at 04:40 am 1210912817
May 16th, 2008 at 05:07 am 1210914478
May 16th, 2008 at 10:25 am 1210933505
May 16th, 2008 at 12:11 pm 1210939871
I agree with the tough love, but I also think that it is important to try to guide him as an adult who needs to make decisions and handle his money as an adult.
May 16th, 2008 at 02:01 pm 1210946470
Learning the value of money is important. I say make him pay, plus interest. You would have to.
May 16th, 2008 at 02:12 pm 1210947169
May 16th, 2008 at 02:24 pm 1210947863
May 16th, 2008 at 06:25 pm 1210962313
May 16th, 2008 at 06:41 pm 1210963271
May 16th, 2008 at 10:53 pm 1210978403
Let us know what you do and how it goes!
May 17th, 2008 at 09:20 pm 1211059200
May 19th, 2008 at 02:57 pm 1211209038